(no subject)

[oceantheorem]

I bought a sweater.

And then I came home and sat on the floor and cried and I don't know why.

Comments

[bsdstud.livejournal.com]

*big hugs*

Grad school is stressful. Do you want to grab some coffee?

[oceantheorem.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I would love to grab some coffee. But, I kid you not, I don't have a break in my schedule that could accomodate coffee until Tuesday early evening. I think that's part of the problem.... All the stuff I'm doing is a lot of fun, but there's just too much of it. And I'm so damn lonely.

Sushi last night was a lot of fun. I really want to do stuff like that more often.

*sigh* *hug*

[bsdstud.livejournal.com]

I think that it's strange that we can do so many social things, and spend so much time with friends, but at the same time feel so lonely. You're definitely not alone on that front. It's a very odd thing

I think that part of it is that we spend so little time in comfortable, casual social interraction. It's like the systems in place to assure that we have a social life keep us moving at full speed when combined with the classes and research and uncertainty of it all. Its' very hard to feel at home when home is such a stressful place.

Anyway. We'll hang out soon and drink at the halloween party and so forth, and barely notice the stress once midterms are up and fellowships are in. You're just catching your pace is all.

Make time to grab lunch of something soon, and just chill. We should get some folks down at my place to just watch movies or television sometime, rather than spending the evening running around.

[oceantheorem.livejournal.com]

There definitely hasn't been enough comfortable casual time. I actually hung out with Jeff a little bit yesterday before and after the sushi thing, and found that I don't even remember how to interact with people one-on-one. I'm so used to the big group socializing act of repeating my major and year over and over again, I can't remember what was cool about me or why I'm an interesting person, and I can't remember how to carry on normal conversations. I miss having friends. I know a ton of people here, but I feel that if I had a nervous breakdown at 3 in the morning, there's no one here I could call to wake up. I just don't know anyone that well yet. That sort of thing takes time to build up.

Anyway, a quiet evening of movies would be nice. Popcorn and a small group and a lack of conversation sounds, actually, fantastic.

Thank you again for checking on me. That means a lot.

[bsdstud.livejournal.com]

No problem. You're a very cool person and I'm always glad to have you around.

You're going to be fine. You just need to adjust a little to moderate the stress. Everyone gets a little screwy under the pressure.

That's also probably why people get a little awkward socially. Lots of people can relate to that too.

The key is to realize that this all isn't going to mess you up in the long-term, and just kind of embrace it. So, you work in the office day and night for a week or two... when you come out, you'll have a bunch of people who just did the same thing to get a beer with.

[either-or.livejournal.com]

put the sweater on and have some cocoa. posthaste.

[oceantheorem.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna go have a sushi-making/sake-tasting thing at the hall of graduate studies in about twenty minutes, can I substitute that for cocoa?

[either-or.livejournal.com]

yes, as long as you schedule in some coziness for some time in the near future.

[oceantheorem.livejournal.com]

I think a hot shower and a movie is in order. Thanks....

[marblespire.livejournal.com]

That must've been one hell of a sweater. o_O

[pewter-surfer.livejournal.com]

Sometimes it's okay not to know why. Sometimes tears are healthy. But I'm sorry you feel bad :(

Is your new sweater cozy?

[oceantheorem.livejournal.com]

It's actually not what I would call cozy. I'm still getting used to the cold here, but for some reason my body is terrible at thermoregulation, and regular sweaters are just too hot for me. So it's sweater material, but it's got a deep V-neck and short sleeves. So I'll probably wear a tank top under it since I have about a thousand of them, and hopefully that will keep me at about the right temperature.

But it's black and cute. And I don't have very many sweaters, so this is a step in the right direction!

[bananasofdeath.livejournal.com]

Hmm. You know, crying for no reason is a symptom of clinical depression. If this keeps happening, maybe you should see a counselor or something.