Passion

Friday we are giving Claire away. In theory we will be able to get her back when we move to a place that allows pets and has more room for her to run around, but this clause of the Giving Up does nothing to lessen my sadness.

Here are some pics of my Clairebeast over the last three weeks.

In the car


First day in the House of Awkward


Enjoying California Sun




Desperately Trying To Find Familiar Things






Asleep on my lap


Kitty, this is the best thing for you, but I will miss you. :-(

I've been meaning to write a Decade in Review post since the end of December, but, well, y'know. I'm lazy and all.

So. Some quick summaries, with vague highlights as they stand out in my memory. I'd look things up, but all my paper journals (dating back to freakin' 1992) are still in Reno in my parents' shed in the backyard. So yeah, all from (terrible) memory.

2000
The end of my freshman year of high school. Finally got over my first love. Had the whole David not-dating saga. Slapped a boy for the first time. Got flowers for my 15th birthday from Michael--the first time a boy ever gave me flowers. Taught archery to other girls at summer camp. Joined the yearbook staff. Met and fell in love with George.

2001
Sophomore/junior year of high school. Got braces. Turned sweet 16 and had a Renaissance-themed birthday. Went to France with my mother (best two weeks ever). Became Assistant Editor of the yearbook and really did the job of editor-in-chief. Had alcohol without parental supervision for the first time--didn't like it.

2002
Junior/senior year of high school. George at one point said something nice to me and I got teary-eyed. To cover, I told him I was a sentimental sap and cried at everything, including stupid commercials. Confused, he looked at me and said, "Canned peaches, on sale now." I laughed and pretended that yes, this was the sort of thing I would cry at.
George graduated and I spent the entire ceremony sobbing. Afterward we met up and he said he had a gift for me. I was trying to hide how upset I was and was presenting a smiling face, until he pulled out a can of peaches and smacked it down on the concrete wall next to us. "Look, a can of peaches!" I burst into tears.
I became editor-in-chief of the yearbook. Mom took me to visit colleges. I fell in love with Santa Cruz. I remember very little else of this period.

2003
Senior year of high school. Got my first kiss in January. Cried when I got my acceptance letter to UCSC, which I opened in the yearbook room, where I lived. Braces off. Convinced George to come home from college to take me to prom. Graduated. Sobbed to be leaving.
Spent the entire summer working 60-hour weeks at the video store. Made barely $2k.
Kissed George.
Failed to learn to surf.
Started college.
Met Jamie. World changed forever. Lost innocence.

2004
End of first year of college. Was... 19, in so many ways. So immature, so full of passion, so very confused about life.
Got first lab job. Fell in love with organic chemistry. Changed life plan from marine biology to biochemistry.
Took a class with Harry Noller. Fell further in love with molecules and biochemistry.
Spent Christmas with Nanny.

2005
Nanny died. World changed forever.
Nearly failed physics, a subject which to this day still does not make sense in my head.
Mom got pregnant. I had surgery to see if I had endometriosis and if my uterus was actually functional.
TAed for a high school program at UCSC.
Worst summer I've ever had.
Got back together with Jamie. Ran in the First Rain Naked Run (so glad I did that-definitely a Life Experience). Applied to graduate schools.

2006
Got into Yale. FREAKED OUT. Sister born. Broke up with Jamie for NO GOOD REASON.
Had best spring quarter in the history of the world--climbed, drank local beer, learned photography, spoke French, casually flirted with amazingly hot French guy but never got anywhere. Turned 21.
Graduated from college a full year early. Bought a car and left everything I loved behind. Moved to Connecticut.
Had completely disastrous attempt at normal relationship.
Started graduate school. Hated it. Loved it. Could not make up mind.
Saw New York for the first time. Fell horribly in love with it.
Developed crush on guy both my close girl friends dated before I could make up my mind about whether I wanted to or not.
Learned to cook a turkey.
Learned to knit.

2007
Continued to hate and love graduate school. Got very, very depressed.
Joined genetics lab. Still not sure why.
Enjoyed a six-month-long secret relationship that ultimately went nowhere but was a great experience anyway.
Was convinced to qualify early. This went badly.
Started a real relationship.
Bought a cat.

2008
Decided to drop out of Yale. Spent six months actually working up the courage to do this. Was convinced to go on medication for depression--was horrified and relieved when it actually worked.
Went off medication as soon as humanly possible. Was relieved to not relapse into depression.
Left Connecticut, breaking ties. The day I left Connecticut is etched very painfully into my memory. I remember the temperature, the colors, the sounds... Mike, Eliz, Kristy, Emily, Andrew, I miss you all so much.
Drove back across country. Burst into tears when the Rockies came into view. Mountains!
Was taken in by amazing aunt and uncle. Got job in local university bookstore. Wondered where the hell life had gone wrong and what the hell I was doing with myself.
Got depressed.
Fell in love with Jim.

2009
Fell further in love with Jim. Uncle diagnosed with all kinds of cancer. Moved to Michigan for lack of anywhere else to go. Got job as medical editor.
Wondered where the hell life had gone wrong and what the hell I was doing with myself.
Slowly got life back on track in my head.
Applied to graduate schools.
Managed not to destroy relationship, which still baffles (and delights!) me.
Knit 18 feet of garter stitch and learned to knit lace.
Started to feel like an adult.

Goals for 2010?
Get into UCSF. Knit more lace. Knit for other people. Stop being so selfish.
Hit quarter-century mark. Have giant party.
Move to California. Buy house. Be deliriously happy.
Start graduate school over again. Be incredibly stressed out. Drink coffee. Love every second.
Convince Jim we should get second cat.

 I just realized I haven't even really posted text in a while.  Man, I'm such a blog slacker.

The last few weekends have been so much fun.  Three weeks ago Jim and I went to a beer festival with two of our good friends.  Jim doesn't drink, but the rest of us sampled all sorts of different beers from microbreweries all over Michigan.  The best one I tasted was actually from a brewery about two miles from where Jim's parents live, so we've resolved to go back there so I can buy a warehouse full of their beer.  Jim drove us all to our weekly Friday night tabletop gaming group after the beer festival, which was quite amusing.  The group is up to about 10 people now, which is absurd for a tabletop adventuring group, but somehow it is usually still fun.

The following weekend the same friend who hosts the tabletop game threw a huge party for his Warcraft guild.  They are on the same server Jim and I play on, and we knew a bunch of the members (including one of the people who went to the beer festival with us, and who only comes to this part of the state on rare occasions), so we were invited as well.  It took up most of a Saturday night and lasted well into the small hours of Sunday morning and was just a fantastic get together.  I got to meet a couple of really awesome new people, too.  Afterwards I moved one of my characters into their guild so I could hang out with them online.

Last weekend we finally started back up with another tabletop gaming session that had been suspended for most of the summer while one of our group members bought a house and moved.  We finally met up in his basement, along with two new people, and even though we ended up spending literally half the time we were there helping the new guys create characters, we had a really fun evening.  The four of us who were playing ended up killing off a really scary level 6 bear of some sort, but Jim (who is the dungeon master) had rolled a 100 on his percentile dice (he rolls them to see how awful our random encounter is going to be, and 100 is the worst possible) decided that our victory over it had been too easy and that with a 100 we probably should have died.  So he sent a level 11 elite dire bear after us.  We were level 3 and 4.

We killed it.

It was pretty much the best D&D moment ever.

This week I decided I needed to make some knitting friends, so I used the location search on Ravelry to find a group in this area.  I finally found one that had active threads in their forum, so I introduced myself.  They get together on Wednesday nights about three miles from my apartment, so Wednesday I headed over there and met up with 3 of them.  We sat outside (it was a beeeeaaauuuutiful evening) and knitted for about 3 hours.  I was by far the youngest, but they were very nice women and it was fun to be able to talk knitting.  Also, they told me about the Michigan Fiber Festival, which is this weekend on the other side of the state, and when I expressed interest, one of them offered me a ride!!  So I am meeting her at her house tomorrow morning at 6 am and we're going to drive across the state so I can fondle pretty pretty yarns.

Also this week, Jim and I decided we needed a break from Warcraft, so we're going Tuesday to Tuesday without logging in at all.  The funny thing is, what I miss is not playing my max-level characters.  What I really want to do is log in and level some of my level 20-something characters on different servers.  I think the time for an extended break from Warcraft is imminent, though.  Just not really enjoying the experience anymore.

Also also this week, my boss told me I can start working full time.  He got me a new computer, so I don't have to shuffle around where I'm working depending on what day it is, what time of day it is, and who else is in the office (Thursdays were the worst; I had to use 3 different computers on Thursdays based on who was in the office and what times they worked).  So I now have a Real Job(tm).  Still poor though!  Cross your fingers he gives me a raise to go with the new full-time status.

Lastly, one of my friends from the tabletop gaming groups decided he wants a Dr. Who scarf.  It is a foot-wide, 14-foot-long monstrosity in 8 colors.  I originally estimated it would take me 12 weeks to knit it.  But I am getting paid!  Also it is taking a fraction of the time I predicted.  I'm a quarter through after only about 2.5 weeks of knitting (which I guess means it will still take 10 weeks, but hey, 5/6 is still a fraction.......).
I would post current pictures of my progress, but apparently Jim has my camera at his parents' house, where he is documenting the process of putting a new engine in his car (the old one blew up last week)(no one was hurt).

( Aaaaand I post more pictures. )


Also, I'm pretty sure this entry in itself proves that I never was, nor ever will be, cool.  
tabletop games + Warcraft + knitting + crazy cat lady = completely uncool
Maybe the bit about the beer festival helped?

 I need to get Claire to Detroit from Reno.

United doesn't fly out of Reno.  Continental doesn't fly out of Reno.  American has a summer embargo on pets as cargo.  Southwest doesn't allow pets at all yet.  Delta has a summer embargo.  US Airways doesn't have cargo out of Reno.  Northwest doesn't have cargo out of Reno.

It looks like I have to GO to Reno to get Claire, and bring her back as carry-on.

Sigh.

Anyone want to lend me a weekend and several hundred bucks?

At long last, behold! Pictures of boyfriend.

( These images aren't quite as screen-killing )

1. It is snowing quite fervently here.
/sigh

2. Claire discovered Wednesday night that mice like to live in our kitchen, under the cupboards. We've always had a problem with them, although it's usually not a ginormous problem. Anyway, the cat immediately stationed herself in front of the dishwasher and took up staring diligently at the floorboards. Late Wednesday night Mom and I saw her dart her paw up underneath it and we distinctly heard mouse squeaks. But Claire didn't quite catch it.

So Claire spent most of yesterday in the kitchen, staring at the bottoms of the cupboards. Finally last night I took her into my room so we could open up the dog door for Cassie to come in and out. I settled in to chat with friends and play Warcraft on the computer while Claire curled up and went to sleep. Around some ridiculously ungodly hour of the morning, I SAW THE MOUSE. It ran from under the desk to over by my basket of knitting supplies (MOUSE, DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT WEDDING BLANKET!!), so I stood up, picked up Claire (who looked up at me with sleepy eyes and said, "What the? Mom, I was sleeping!"), set her down on the floor next to the knitting basket, and picked up the basket. The mouse SHOT out and ran back underneath Claire's legs to get back under the desk. Claire jumped about six inches straight up, went berserk, and chased the mouse back and forth across the room for a good half hour. Finally it went into one of my empty suitcases, so Claire jumped in and together we sort of batted the mouse around (it had gone under the lining and I was trying to force it out so Claire could catch it). When it finally came out, she literally took a few swings at it and just sort of... batted it back and forth. I decided that she really had no idea what to DO with a mouse now that it had been "caught" (plus, it occurs to me now that I really probably didn't want her to do what cats do with mice, at least not in my bedroom), so I grabbed the terrified little thing by the tail and... stood helplessly in the middle of the room for a second, not having any idea what to do with it. Finally I just took it out into the backyard and flung it over the back fence.

I feel bad now, since it's out alone in the snow after having suffered a pretty traumatic night.

So that's Claire (she looks so innocent, eh? she's very feisty. I lub her). I was going to upload more pictures, but then I remembered they're still on my camera and my camera is in my suitcase and my suitcase is questionably still somewhere between here and Chicago, though I kind of suspect it's actually in Taiwan by now because, after four phone calls across eight hours today, the airport people still won't tell me exactly where my suitcase is or how long it will take for it to get here. So you may never get more pictures than these, and you'll probably never see pictures of my baby sister in a snowsuit being pulled up and down a small hill while screaming and trying to eat snow at the same time.