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I've had a lot to update about lately, but it seems like all my thoughts should be friendslocked these days, so I've been typing up entries and saving them on my computer instead of posting. Not sure what to say here.
Swinging back into loneliness. I've got so many friends, so many amazing awesome friends, but I dunno. I watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy the other day and the theme was sort of, "If I disappeared, would anyone miss me?" and I know that people would miss me; a lot of people would miss me. But not... not in the way that the show meant. It keeps coming back to him. I had a dream about him before I watched the Grey's episode, just a calm dream about his chin stubble and the way it used to scratch my face, kind of in a sweet way. Then I had another dream last night that we went for Round 3 and it worked out. Third time's a charm? Ann says he's doing well, with his girlfriend too, and still double-majoring and taking an extra quarter, and thinking about going to grad school in the future. In some ways I'm so, so happy for him, so glad that he's doing well. And in some ways I wish I was the one supporting him, being there for him, looking after him. It's not such a sharp, hard pain anymore. Now it's just sort of a constant dull ache. Maybe he was the one, the ache says, and maybe it's irrevocably messed up now. Sometimes I just want him back SO BADLY!
I've been knitting a bit, and finally finished the scarf for Shannon. I want to make a few things for myself now; a shawl of some sort (but I only have three skeins), and a blue and white Yale scarf. Still deciding how I'd want to do the Yale scarf. I kind of want it to say Yale on it, but on the other hand I have this pattern for a DNA scarf and I could just combine the two things and make a Yale DNA scarf. In that case, though, would it be too nerdy to make the cables in a different color so the helix stands out? Like, a blue helix on a white background? Would I be ashamed of my nerddom and incapable of wearing that scarf? Maybe I should learn Fair Isle so I can just knit YALE into the scarf and forget about the DNA bits.
You know, I always sort of thought that if I ever got a tattoo, it would be of a DNA strand that wrapped all the way around my body. I know exactly how it would wrap, too, and exactly what it would look like and what colors it would be.
I'm gonna go read some papers. Or maybe surf the internet looking for a shawl pattern.
Swinging back into loneliness. I've got so many friends, so many amazing awesome friends, but I dunno. I watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy the other day and the theme was sort of, "If I disappeared, would anyone miss me?" and I know that people would miss me; a lot of people would miss me. But not... not in the way that the show meant. It keeps coming back to him. I had a dream about him before I watched the Grey's episode, just a calm dream about his chin stubble and the way it used to scratch my face, kind of in a sweet way. Then I had another dream last night that we went for Round 3 and it worked out. Third time's a charm? Ann says he's doing well, with his girlfriend too, and still double-majoring and taking an extra quarter, and thinking about going to grad school in the future. In some ways I'm so, so happy for him, so glad that he's doing well. And in some ways I wish I was the one supporting him, being there for him, looking after him. It's not such a sharp, hard pain anymore. Now it's just sort of a constant dull ache. Maybe he was the one, the ache says, and maybe it's irrevocably messed up now. Sometimes I just want him back SO BADLY!
I've been knitting a bit, and finally finished the scarf for Shannon. I want to make a few things for myself now; a shawl of some sort (but I only have three skeins), and a blue and white Yale scarf. Still deciding how I'd want to do the Yale scarf. I kind of want it to say Yale on it, but on the other hand I have this pattern for a DNA scarf and I could just combine the two things and make a Yale DNA scarf. In that case, though, would it be too nerdy to make the cables in a different color so the helix stands out? Like, a blue helix on a white background? Would I be ashamed of my nerddom and incapable of wearing that scarf? Maybe I should learn Fair Isle so I can just knit YALE into the scarf and forget about the DNA bits.
You know, I always sort of thought that if I ever got a tattoo, it would be of a DNA strand that wrapped all the way around my body. I know exactly how it would wrap, too, and exactly what it would look like and what colors it would be.
I'm gonna go read some papers. Or maybe surf the internet looking for a shawl pattern.
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no subject
Date: 2007-02-21 09:26 pm (UTC)From:Now I'm intrigued!!
Dude, that tattoo sounds awesome. Are there "main" stars in the constellation? Maybe you could just get those as the big important stars and then have the others be tiny, and then you wouldn't have to have 18 major accomplishments (geez, counting graduations, I've got, like, 3). What's your criteria for "major accomplishment"?
I went to the yarn store AGAIN today and the lady talked me into getting size 15 metal circular needles. *sigh* Dunno how I feel about the metal or the size, but I needed the circs. I kinda wanted bamboo 12s. Oh well. We'll see how they knit. If I don't like them maybe I'll take them back.
I got five balls of alpaca silk in a salmon color, and I'm going to make a shawl! I think I'm going to make this one:
http://www.dailyknitter.com/sophia.html
although I really think the 15s are too big for it. We'll see. :-P
I'm spending my whole stipend on knitting! Augh!
no subject
Date: 2007-02-21 09:37 pm (UTC)From:Yea, I think I've got graduation, getting married, having a kid... And that's pretty much it lol. But I still think it's pretty. It's about the size of a post-it note :)
And that shawl is gorgeous! I think the 15s will make it more holey. Although you could always swatch it up and see if you like it ;)
I wish I had more money to spend on knitting! I want to make Fetching from knitty, but I don't have the DPNs. I have the yarn... It is soooo pretty!
http://community.livejournal.com/knitswap/281526.html?view=1579190#t1579190
It's the Debbie Bliss in the first pic... and it's just a touch lighter in color in real life... Very plummy/eggplanty.
no subject
Date: 2007-02-21 10:17 pm (UTC)From:I don't really have money to spend on knitting--it's totally cutting into my food budget, and I have all this credit card debt from last summer still clinging to me, plus they don't automatically take money out of our stipend for taxes and I have like, zilch in savings--but Yale gives us a lot of free food, so I'm not starving yet. At least knitting keeps me happy. And sane.
Mostly.
The tattoo is awesome. It's not too big or crazy and would be really pretty! I love the idea and sentiment behind it, too.
I don't know if I'll ever get mine. If I do, it will probably be after I have kids (if I ever have kids), because it's supposed to go over part of my stomach and I don't want it to stretch out. Also, I figured that if I got it AFTER I get wrinkles, then maybe I can move the tattoo AROUND the wrinkles. Or something. Anyway, it would completely change the surface of my body, so it's unlikely that I'll ever actually do it, but I really want to.
I kind of want the shawl to be a little holey, and sort of loose. I want those five balls to go a long way, too, and I really don't need the shawl to be all that warm, since I'll mostly be wearing it around the house. So maybe the 15s will do the trick. But I dunno if the pattern holes combined with the looseness of the large needle effect would still look okay. I might just leave out the k2tog/yos in the pattern. SWATCHES!!!