Why I might not be able to be a real scientist.

[oceantheorem]

So I gave my rotation talk today. I can tell I didn't practice enough, because I got up there and started out completely wrong. Thirty seconds before I'd had my first few sentences in my head, but as soon as I stood up I could barely remember my name. So I started flying by the seat of my pants, attempting to explain whatever happened to come up on the slide show next (cause I sure as hell couldn't remember what was coming next), and then. And then.

I glanced down at my notes to get some help (my brain was shrieking, "WHAT COMES NEXT?? WHAT COMES NEXT??? QUICK, READ SOMETHING FROM YOUR NOTES!!"), and I couldn't see them. I mean, I could see the paper just fine, nothing was wrong with my eyesight or the lighting, but the symbols just made absolutely no sense to me.
I had forgotten how to read.

In retrospect, I think I probably didn't look at the notes long enough. I probably glanced at them and then looked away before I could process the words, but all I could think as I was up there was, "Shit, notes not helping, make something up! Quick!"

I actually finished my talk early, probably because I left out like twenty percent of the things I wanted to say, but a few of my classmates asked questions and I think I gave okay answers.

Next time, I will practice my talk until I can give it backwards and blindfolded in a crowded bar.

Also, I got two papercuts today while preparing for this talk. HAVEN'T I SUFFERED ENOUGH???

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Rotation talks? They suck. I wouldn't worry about it. You'll get loads better with practice, especially when you have a project that's YOURS, and that you know inside, outside, and backwards. I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you say - we're always too hard on ourselves!