Why I might not be able to be a real scientist.

[oceantheorem]

So I gave my rotation talk today. I can tell I didn't practice enough, because I got up there and started out completely wrong. Thirty seconds before I'd had my first few sentences in my head, but as soon as I stood up I could barely remember my name. So I started flying by the seat of my pants, attempting to explain whatever happened to come up on the slide show next (cause I sure as hell couldn't remember what was coming next), and then. And then.

I glanced down at my notes to get some help (my brain was shrieking, "WHAT COMES NEXT?? WHAT COMES NEXT??? QUICK, READ SOMETHING FROM YOUR NOTES!!"), and I couldn't see them. I mean, I could see the paper just fine, nothing was wrong with my eyesight or the lighting, but the symbols just made absolutely no sense to me.
I had forgotten how to read.

In retrospect, I think I probably didn't look at the notes long enough. I probably glanced at them and then looked away before I could process the words, but all I could think as I was up there was, "Shit, notes not helping, make something up! Quick!"

I actually finished my talk early, probably because I left out like twenty percent of the things I wanted to say, but a few of my classmates asked questions and I think I gave okay answers.

Next time, I will practice my talk until I can give it backwards and blindfolded in a crowded bar.

Also, I got two papercuts today while preparing for this talk. HAVEN'T I SUFFERED ENOUGH???

Comments

[crazypumpkin.livejournal.com]

I don't think that won't allow you to be a real scientist. For starters, many scientists are crappy presenters :) But if you realize here what went 'wrong', then you'll have an idea of what you can do better next time. I'm sure you did better than you thought!

[oceantheorem.livejournal.com]

I definitely think this was a really good learning experience. I think the last time I gave a presentation in front of my peers (by myself, and not in a group) was in 8th grade, so I really had no idea how to prepare. Now I have a much better idea of what I need to do beforehand, and what I need to do while I'm up there.

Thanks for the encouragement. Hopefully it didn't look as bad as it felt. :-)

And oooh, man, I hope I don't become one of those awful scientists that puts people to sleep. Or worse, one of the ones where the students can tell you're freaking out. I always feel so bad for those people....

[(Anonymous)]

Rotation talks? They suck. I wouldn't worry about it. You'll get loads better with practice, especially when you have a project that's YOURS, and that you know inside, outside, and backwards. I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you say - we're always too hard on ourselves!

[(Anonymous)]

Rotation talks? They suck. Been there, done that. I wouldn't worry about it. You'll get loads better with practice, especially when you have a project that's YOURS, and that you know inside, outside, and backwards. I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you say - we're always too hard on ourselves!
-SP10