(no subject)

[oceantheorem]

Okay, I have a question for y'all.

Lyla suggested that I might be clinically depressed. I've seen counselors before and they usually help. But this time, I know what the problem is, and I'm not even sure I have time to go see a counselor. So it's not like I want someone impartial to talk to. In fact, I think that would be sort of silly. (What do I say? Yeah, I know what the problem is, there's no easy cure, here's your $50? What would the counselor say? Yeah, you're adjusting, give it time, have a nice day?) So what do I do? What are my alternatives, for keeping myself from being depressed? I'm pretty good at tricking myself into feeling whatever I want myself to feel, but my tricks are starting to fail.

So far, I've got:
* chocolate
* not sleeping too much
* making a point of getting excited over the stupid little things in life

Did you know that sleep deprivation can actually lift your spirits? Isn't that weird?

Also, I just wanted to add a complaint that IT'S COLD HERE.

Comments

[bsdstud.livejournal.com]

I honestly think that you're merely having difficulty adjusting to graduate school. The last couple of times you posted, I thought of posting to both you and another friend linked to my LJ who is also a student here and also has had a lot of time adjusting.

To be brief, a lot of people have had difficulty, and a lot of people have said things that are no less startling than any notions of clinical depression that you've expressed. There is a lot to discuss that may or may not help you, but, probably, it would be better if we talked about it in person sometime, rather than my trying to collect my relatively uncollected thoughts on the matter in a single post, or give you advice that is perhaps not applicable.

Perhaps you have clinical depression, but I think that, honestly, you're just struggling in the way that we all struggle to adjust and don't realize that most of us feel the same way.

[oceantheorem.livejournal.com]

Well, yeah. I don't think I'm clinically depressed. I do think I'm unhappy, but that's not the same thing. As I said, I know what the problem is, and it's just going to take time for me to get used to New Haven and the east coast and grad school in general. But in the meantime, I'm not happy, and I don't like not being happy. And not being happy and ignoring it can lead to more serious depression.
I've been depressed before and I know I'm not at that point yet. I just want to make sure it stays that way.
We should get together and talk at some point. I'm more free after NSF....

[bsdstud.livejournal.com]

I am also currently working out my NSF fellowship proposal. Damn. I wish that I'd put the time into that YOU'RE putting in. I need to mail my old advisors for letters.