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I dreamt again last night. Three nights in a row now I've had interesting nightmares.
I had just gotten to the East Coast, and was visiting New York for the first time. I've always wanted to go to New York City; it's always seemed like a fascinating place. I was wandering around with a man, a woman, and their small daughter. The city looked astonishingly like San Francisco, except a lot bigger. And by bigger, I mean, everything was physically larger. The roads were wider, the doors were taller, the buildings were ginormous. We wandered through the parts of the city that had trees planted along the sides, and things were going okay. For some reason, the woman and I had to go run and get something else, and as we ran down the street, the trees disappeared, and when they did, rain came down like a wave, and within seconds we were soaked. We rushed back to where the man and the child were, sitting at an outdoor table at a restaurant, with drinks ordered for us. I picked up my glass of water to take a drink and found a fly in it. I set the drink down so I could fish out the bug, and as I did so the man got very angry with me, and told me that if I stopped to fish out every bug that landed in my drink, I would never drink at all. And indeed, suddenly there were other flies in the water glass, and as soon as I scooped one out, another would appear. The man held me and forced me to drink from the glass while bugs were still landing in it.
Some time later, the four of us wandered down the street, in the opposite direction that we had run and gotten drenched in, and found ourselves approaching the sea. I thought to myself as we rounded a corner and started walking up another street, "The water looks so much the same as it does on the west coast!" As soon as I finished the thought, the water began to flow away from the shore instead of towards it, since water on the west coast breaks towards the east; apparently my mind was trying to make this water break towards the east too. The physics of the whole thing somehow backfired, though, because after the water rushed away, it came back, and though we were walking along a safe city street, the tidal wave that dropped down behind us managed to not be on the beach and somehow flood the street, and suddenly we were running away from torrential amounts of water, hiding behind stone columns on the left (and here is the strange part, because as far as illustrating goes, we were on the left, but in my dream we were screaming to move to the right, and the left was the right, so apparently even in my dreams I still have problems telling them apart) side of the street, screaming. We finally reached the end of the street and the water ran out of power. A stone wall appeared in front of us, covered in ivy, with a stone archway we couldn't see through. The little girl stepped through the archway and sunshine broke through where she had pushed the ivy aside. It was that kind of golden, dreamy, ethereal light, and then she started laughing in that sort of ethereal, dreamy, golden child kind of way. The man and woman and I looked at each other and smiled and then stepped through after the girl. And everything was wonderful.
I do not understand my subconscious.
I had just gotten to the East Coast, and was visiting New York for the first time. I've always wanted to go to New York City; it's always seemed like a fascinating place. I was wandering around with a man, a woman, and their small daughter. The city looked astonishingly like San Francisco, except a lot bigger. And by bigger, I mean, everything was physically larger. The roads were wider, the doors were taller, the buildings were ginormous. We wandered through the parts of the city that had trees planted along the sides, and things were going okay. For some reason, the woman and I had to go run and get something else, and as we ran down the street, the trees disappeared, and when they did, rain came down like a wave, and within seconds we were soaked. We rushed back to where the man and the child were, sitting at an outdoor table at a restaurant, with drinks ordered for us. I picked up my glass of water to take a drink and found a fly in it. I set the drink down so I could fish out the bug, and as I did so the man got very angry with me, and told me that if I stopped to fish out every bug that landed in my drink, I would never drink at all. And indeed, suddenly there were other flies in the water glass, and as soon as I scooped one out, another would appear. The man held me and forced me to drink from the glass while bugs were still landing in it.
Some time later, the four of us wandered down the street, in the opposite direction that we had run and gotten drenched in, and found ourselves approaching the sea. I thought to myself as we rounded a corner and started walking up another street, "The water looks so much the same as it does on the west coast!" As soon as I finished the thought, the water began to flow away from the shore instead of towards it, since water on the west coast breaks towards the east; apparently my mind was trying to make this water break towards the east too. The physics of the whole thing somehow backfired, though, because after the water rushed away, it came back, and though we were walking along a safe city street, the tidal wave that dropped down behind us managed to not be on the beach and somehow flood the street, and suddenly we were running away from torrential amounts of water, hiding behind stone columns on the left (and here is the strange part, because as far as illustrating goes, we were on the left, but in my dream we were screaming to move to the right, and the left was the right, so apparently even in my dreams I still have problems telling them apart) side of the street, screaming. We finally reached the end of the street and the water ran out of power. A stone wall appeared in front of us, covered in ivy, with a stone archway we couldn't see through. The little girl stepped through the archway and sunshine broke through where she had pushed the ivy aside. It was that kind of golden, dreamy, ethereal light, and then she started laughing in that sort of ethereal, dreamy, golden child kind of way. The man and woman and I looked at each other and smiled and then stepped through after the girl. And everything was wonderful.
I do not understand my subconscious.
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no subject
Date: 2006-05-30 12:29 am (UTC)From:You're not supposed to. No one understands their own nonconscious. And most people don't understand others' nonconsciouses, either. And I don't claim to understand yours. Here, instead, is a list of interesting symbols I see, approaching it from an outsider's point of view.
The buggy water may simply symbolize your feelings of helplessness. You're not sure if you've made the right decision in uprooting yourself the way you are, and to make things worse, you feel forbidden to change your mind. Trapped, in other words--being forced into something you're no longer sure you want. Why that manifests itself as flies in a cup of water, I have no idea. Maybe some residual archetype from marine biology. Or maybe not. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
I find the ocean thing interesting. I'm making an educated guess that the ocean, to you, is associated with Santa Cruz--when you think about it, no matter where you are or when you are, that'll be the thing that pops into your head. I also wonder about that archway of yours, which was facing away from the Atlantic and, thus, towards the... Pacific?
Of course, I'm just a Psychology major. We're not real scientists! =P But I do know this: venturing into the unknown is hard. Between that, your thesis and godonlyknows what other stressors you have in your life, it doesn't surprise me that your dreams might be a little panicky.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-30 06:50 am (UTC)From:and possibly that all the tidal waves and the flies in your water represent everything that is going on right now and how you feel overwhelmed. by that same token, at the end of the dream everything turned out alright, so you could say that means everything in your life will turn out alright too.
*giant hugs* i love you seester!
no subject
Date: 2006-05-31 09:16 am (UTC)From:Still not king roflmao