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I'm tired.
Today is my last day of being a teenager. Hooray! Except now I've lost my one good excuse for why I screw up.... I'll have to either become perfect as of tomorrow, or find a new reason why I'm not. *sigh*
Last week was so long I barely even remember the beginning of it. I think Monday was one of those 12-hours-on-campus-without-a-lunch-break type days. I've been so tired all week; it's hard to catch up on sleep anymore. I don't sleep on the weekends any more than I do on weekdays. I got up this morning just after 7 so I could work on physics on campus with Steven and Valerie at 9... Which was good. I have that done now. I've been in the library for the last couple of hours, supposedly studying biochem, but I fell asleep. Wasn't concentrating too well up until then, anyway. So I guess after I finish this post I'll try to get back to work, and actually get something done before my review session at 6. I hate spending weekends on campus. I don't live here anymore. It's like spending a Sunday at work. I don't mind it as much during the week... even if it is a hassle to get up here, I do like school. But a girl needs a break once in a while, and weekends are supposed to at least give me a break from campus if not from homework.
Anyway. Rant over.
My mom is coming down tonight to celebrate Mother's Day and my birthday, which is totally cool. That's why I've been trying to get so much homework done today.... I've seen an awful lot of her this quarter. It's been nice... I've been realizing more and more that as my life goes on I won't see her as often. It's strange to think that I spent so much of my life living with her when it was just the two of us, trying to get by together, and now I'm on my own. I don't think most people are as close to their moms as I am to mine... and I think most people don't get closer to their parents after they move out, like I did. The real world made me realize how much my mom actually knows. And how little I know.
Anyway.
I don't think this post actually had a point. I just felt I should update.
Life's been weird lately. I've had a lot of different things going on... I added a new item to my list of Non-Negotiables for my future husband. There were only two Non-Negotiables until now. 1. He must not smoke. 2. He must have or be getting a college education. And now there's an item 3. He must not be depressed. I simply don't have the energy to sustain myself and someone else... I'm so sick of being somebody else's cheerleader. It's okay to do it for a while, to help someone through hard times. Through hard years, even. But I know too many people (guys) who have no desire to help themselves, and I'm sick of forcing them to work towards something better. From now on, whoever I date had damn well better be stable and like himself, at least most of the time. Happiness is not something I provide. I will not make you happy. You have to make yourself happy. And I hereby vow to stop trying to make people happy.
End second rant.
Oh! In other news, Ann and I are going skydiving this Saturday! I'm excited and scared out of my mind at the same time (if I faint, at least I won't die, since we're going tandem). This is pretty cool. I'm going to jump out of a plane two miles above the earth ("I can see my house from here!"). Heather Gonda and Andree Warren and some other people went in high school, and they invited me. I said no. I don't remember if it was a matter of money or fright... but I'm finally going. So yay me! The world is my burrito.
And it's off to work on memorizing the Citric Acid Cycle, Reform Model, in all its dirty glory. Hooray for midterm week!
Today is my last day of being a teenager. Hooray! Except now I've lost my one good excuse for why I screw up.... I'll have to either become perfect as of tomorrow, or find a new reason why I'm not. *sigh*
Last week was so long I barely even remember the beginning of it. I think Monday was one of those 12-hours-on-campus-without-a-lunch-break type days. I've been so tired all week; it's hard to catch up on sleep anymore. I don't sleep on the weekends any more than I do on weekdays. I got up this morning just after 7 so I could work on physics on campus with Steven and Valerie at 9... Which was good. I have that done now. I've been in the library for the last couple of hours, supposedly studying biochem, but I fell asleep. Wasn't concentrating too well up until then, anyway. So I guess after I finish this post I'll try to get back to work, and actually get something done before my review session at 6. I hate spending weekends on campus. I don't live here anymore. It's like spending a Sunday at work. I don't mind it as much during the week... even if it is a hassle to get up here, I do like school. But a girl needs a break once in a while, and weekends are supposed to at least give me a break from campus if not from homework.
Anyway. Rant over.
My mom is coming down tonight to celebrate Mother's Day and my birthday, which is totally cool. That's why I've been trying to get so much homework done today.... I've seen an awful lot of her this quarter. It's been nice... I've been realizing more and more that as my life goes on I won't see her as often. It's strange to think that I spent so much of my life living with her when it was just the two of us, trying to get by together, and now I'm on my own. I don't think most people are as close to their moms as I am to mine... and I think most people don't get closer to their parents after they move out, like I did. The real world made me realize how much my mom actually knows. And how little I know.
Anyway.
I don't think this post actually had a point. I just felt I should update.
Life's been weird lately. I've had a lot of different things going on... I added a new item to my list of Non-Negotiables for my future husband. There were only two Non-Negotiables until now. 1. He must not smoke. 2. He must have or be getting a college education. And now there's an item 3. He must not be depressed. I simply don't have the energy to sustain myself and someone else... I'm so sick of being somebody else's cheerleader. It's okay to do it for a while, to help someone through hard times. Through hard years, even. But I know too many people (guys) who have no desire to help themselves, and I'm sick of forcing them to work towards something better. From now on, whoever I date had damn well better be stable and like himself, at least most of the time. Happiness is not something I provide. I will not make you happy. You have to make yourself happy. And I hereby vow to stop trying to make people happy.
End second rant.
Oh! In other news, Ann and I are going skydiving this Saturday! I'm excited and scared out of my mind at the same time (if I faint, at least I won't die, since we're going tandem). This is pretty cool. I'm going to jump out of a plane two miles above the earth ("I can see my house from here!"). Heather Gonda and Andree Warren and some other people went in high school, and they invited me. I said no. I don't remember if it was a matter of money or fright... but I'm finally going. So yay me! The world is my burrito.
And it's off to work on memorizing the Citric Acid Cycle, Reform Model, in all its dirty glory. Hooray for midterm week!
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no subject
Date: 2005-05-08 06:21 pm (UTC)From:I think you're totally wrong there, and that happens to everyone. At least, that's my hypothesis, as I still live with my mom and she drives me Crrzyyyyyy, yes, Crrzyyyyyy. Though she's cool and all.
But yeah. Hi. How's it going? (I suppose that's what this post was about. Oh well. No going back now.)
We're alive! Weeee!
But I have to study for chemistry. Eeeeew. (Wee backwards is Eew. Anyway.)
no subject
Date: 2005-05-08 10:10 pm (UTC)From:My girl broke up with me last weekend. Not cool. I was cleaning up a bit, sorting things out that were hers, and came across all your old letters (and to think, I've been dragging them around with me all this time...). Somehow, reading those letters helped, immensely. Made me realize some things about myself, and... yeah. Do you ever read mine? I don't even remember what I wrote, but whatever it was, it was probably horribly depressing. Sorry about that.
The hard years are over, though. Life is good. Mostly.
And strangely, despite the distance and the years and the realization that we are completely, utterly different and drive each other crazy, I still enjoy reading your LJ. I still enjoy hearing your adventures.
I just want to thank you. I don't think I do it often enough, and you've been a great help to me.
Happy birthday, and it won't be too much longer before I join you in the whole two decade concept. Weird, isn't it?
Happy Belated Birthday!
Date: 2005-05-09 12:02 am (UTC)From:Know that I still love you though, so..prayers and thoughts your way!
loves and hugs
bren