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Oct. 15th, 2004
It's been a long week.
Oct. 15th, 2004 12:08 pmThis week has been twelve years long. Twelve years--one for every hour of sleep I got this week.
I think I'm definitely trying to do too much. I'm trying to grow up too quickly. I'm trying to hold down a job in a lab and grow a transgenic mouse colony and be a junior in college all at the same time--and I'm barely 19. I'm a sophomore as far as years in college go. I'm getting ahead--of myself. I can't keep up with my schedule. I feel like Hermione Granger, except she had that cool clock thing--she could MAKE time to sleep. I just DELETE time to sleep. I've replaced sleep with coffee. Lots and lots and lots of coffee. Between 8 pm Sunday night and 10 am Tuesday morning, I had like 14 cups of coffee. This has to stop. This HAS to stop.
The problem is, I don't know how to solve this problem. I can't slow down. That would be stupid and counterproductive. I can't drop classes or stop working. If I stop working I'll never get started again, and I'm supposed to do my senior thesis (this year!) in this lab. I can't drop classes--if I go below a certain amount of credits I'll lose financial aid, and I'll have to move everything back a quarter. That's a double financial whammy. I lose aid AND I have to stay an extra quarter.
So I don't know what to do. I've tried cutting out a social life, and that just makes me a cold bitch, and I hate being a cold bitch. That makes me really unhappy. I tried cutting out sleep, and that makes me sluggish and stupid, and I HATE being stupid. I tried cutting out Latin homework, but that only saved me twenty minutes, and I've felt guilty for two days.
I think I just need a little time off to recharge. I'm so drained....
*sigh* Well, I'm off to go work on some homework or something. Gotta get out of the computer lab--other people need the computers.
I think I'm definitely trying to do too much. I'm trying to grow up too quickly. I'm trying to hold down a job in a lab and grow a transgenic mouse colony and be a junior in college all at the same time--and I'm barely 19. I'm a sophomore as far as years in college go. I'm getting ahead--of myself. I can't keep up with my schedule. I feel like Hermione Granger, except she had that cool clock thing--she could MAKE time to sleep. I just DELETE time to sleep. I've replaced sleep with coffee. Lots and lots and lots of coffee. Between 8 pm Sunday night and 10 am Tuesday morning, I had like 14 cups of coffee. This has to stop. This HAS to stop.
The problem is, I don't know how to solve this problem. I can't slow down. That would be stupid and counterproductive. I can't drop classes or stop working. If I stop working I'll never get started again, and I'm supposed to do my senior thesis (this year!) in this lab. I can't drop classes--if I go below a certain amount of credits I'll lose financial aid, and I'll have to move everything back a quarter. That's a double financial whammy. I lose aid AND I have to stay an extra quarter.
So I don't know what to do. I've tried cutting out a social life, and that just makes me a cold bitch, and I hate being a cold bitch. That makes me really unhappy. I tried cutting out sleep, and that makes me sluggish and stupid, and I HATE being stupid. I tried cutting out Latin homework, but that only saved me twenty minutes, and I've felt guilty for two days.
I think I just need a little time off to recharge. I'm so drained....
*sigh* Well, I'm off to go work on some homework or something. Gotta get out of the computer lab--other people need the computers.
Randomly browsing lj and reading ljs of friends of people whose ljs I read, I found this:
The best two pieces of advice I ever got came from my mother:
1) You're never stuck.
2) You're stronger than you think you are.
And I think that is very pertinent to this week, and I need to keep that in mind.
I'll see you all back here online Monday, when I get back from Christi's wedding in Texas. I fully intend to recharge and to enjoy myself with my family.
The best two pieces of advice I ever got came from my mother:
1) You're never stuck.
2) You're stronger than you think you are.
And I think that is very pertinent to this week, and I need to keep that in mind.
I'll see you all back here online Monday, when I get back from Christi's wedding in Texas. I fully intend to recharge and to enjoy myself with my family.
