(no subject)

[oceantheorem]

Christmas this year turned out to be sort of surprising.

For various reasons (I just tried-and failed-to write a post about them-I am slightly sick today and I think my writing skills are suffering for it), I don't like Christmas. That hasn't changed, but I definitely feel like... I dunno.

I didn't ask for anything this year, knowing I couldn't get gifts for anyone in exchange, and the whole obligatory gift exchange thing has always kind of irked me (shouldn't we buy things for each other because we like each other and because we find things that remind us of each other, and not just because it's December? doesn't December mean we celebrate the return of the sun? what does that have to do with gifts? even if Christmas is about the birth of some people's savior, what does THAT have to do with gifts? isn't that about giving thanks or something?).

Somehow, though, I ended up with a small mountain of gifts on Christmas morning. Friends from all over the country sent care packages. I got presents from New York, Michigan, Nevada, Pennsylvania, California.... And my family here also completely ignored my protests that I didn't need gifts, and added to the pile.

I think by far the best thing I got this year was the reminder that people care about me. To have friends remember me and send me things while I am hiding and trying to pretend Christmas doesn't exist... well, in the last couple months I have been becoming more and more of a sensitive sap (one of the notes that came with the gifts actually made me cry). So. I am touched, and humbled, by the outpouring of gifts I received this year. I don't think, looking back over the last 12 months, that I deserved anything at all.
So maybe gift-giving does convey what "Christmas" should be about. Love.
Thank you for your friendship. I hope to be worthy of it in the coming year.

Comments

[bananasofdeath.livejournal.com]

Oh, even if your lj were "Meditations on Soothing, Calm, and Tranquility" I doubt it would de-stress me. I wasn't really looking for that, more just.... being in denial?

Don't they have some sort of filter so you can sort out actually messages? I mean, I have no idea; that was why I messaged you, I guess. Or something.

If you can make spring break happen right now, that would be great..... Thanks for asking, though, seriously.

[oceantheorem.livejournal.com]

Okay, I changed my settings to remove most of the junk that gets sent to the stupid inbox folder. Then I deleted everything in it. So now the only thing I'm worried about is that it will stop emailing me when someone comments... so I will never again notice anyone commenting anywhere. But I'm not sure if it's going to stop doing that or not, because their user interface is crap. Anyway, point is, if you message me now, I will probably notice it. Also, lj will email it to me. So there's a safeguard. Woo.

I'm sorry I can't help destress more. http://www.virtual-bubblewrap.com/popnow.shtml

[bananasofdeath.livejournal.com]

Oh, good. Thanks for the bubble wrap; I'd completely forgotten about it, and it made me smile, and was moderately destressing. They've added a timer, which I don't really like.

[oceantheorem.livejournal.com]

Yay bubble wrap!

Lj did stop emailing me comments for a couple days, but I figured it out and changed it back. Stupid interface.

Miss you. Hang in there.

[bananasofdeath.livejournal.com]

Well, good you got it sorted out. I dunno; I don't think I've had much trouble with lj, but then.... I guess I don't really try to do a whole lot with it.

Thanks for the good wishes. I'll probably be sad when I get my exam back, but at least it's over for the time being. It's beautiful in Berkeley right now.