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I'm not entirely sure if this is worthy of a livejournal post.
I couldn't go talk to Jamie before the physics midterm today (and by before, I mean this weekend) because I was studying too much... and when I went over to his place Saturday night David was there (allow me to express my deep annoyance--grrrrrrr). This whole thing has been driving me crazy. I can't believe I don't know how I feel. How can I not know how I feel? I must be suppressing something or making something up, but I don't know what, and I don't know what to do about it. On the nights when I CAN get to sleep without spending two hours thinking about Jamie, I DREAM about Jamie. Last night (since I've been studying so much physics for this stupid test), I dreamt about Jamie and physics. It's ridiculous.
So today after Latin I thought about going to talk to him, but I sort of chickened out. I went and stood at the corner near the bookstore, so I could see buses coming from either direction. I finally elected to get on a 16, which goes right up past Crown. I got on the bus, thinking, "I could get off at Crown. Or off at 9/10, and walk up the easy hill; that would be even better." But we stopped at 9/10 and I didn't get off. So I sat there feeling stupid... the bus pulled forward... and then stopped, so a girl in a wheelchair could get loaded on. So I got up (I was in the wheelchair seat area thing, so I had to move), and the bus driver suggested that I and one other girl get off the bus while she loaded the wheelchair, and she promised she'd let us back on. But I figured if fate was suggesting I get off the bus, at 9/10, then that was a good enough sign for me. So I went to Jamie's.
And I didn't talk to him. I mean, about all this.
How stupid do I feel?
And that is all.
I couldn't go talk to Jamie before the physics midterm today (and by before, I mean this weekend) because I was studying too much... and when I went over to his place Saturday night David was there (allow me to express my deep annoyance--grrrrrrr). This whole thing has been driving me crazy. I can't believe I don't know how I feel. How can I not know how I feel? I must be suppressing something or making something up, but I don't know what, and I don't know what to do about it. On the nights when I CAN get to sleep without spending two hours thinking about Jamie, I DREAM about Jamie. Last night (since I've been studying so much physics for this stupid test), I dreamt about Jamie and physics. It's ridiculous.
So today after Latin I thought about going to talk to him, but I sort of chickened out. I went and stood at the corner near the bookstore, so I could see buses coming from either direction. I finally elected to get on a 16, which goes right up past Crown. I got on the bus, thinking, "I could get off at Crown. Or off at 9/10, and walk up the easy hill; that would be even better." But we stopped at 9/10 and I didn't get off. So I sat there feeling stupid... the bus pulled forward... and then stopped, so a girl in a wheelchair could get loaded on. So I got up (I was in the wheelchair seat area thing, so I had to move), and the bus driver suggested that I and one other girl get off the bus while she loaded the wheelchair, and she promised she'd let us back on. But I figured if fate was suggesting I get off the bus, at 9/10, then that was a good enough sign for me. So I went to Jamie's.
And I didn't talk to him. I mean, about all this.
How stupid do I feel?
And that is all.
