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I finally get my life back.
Nov. 14th, 2007 02:48 pmWow, I really haven't updated in ages.
Qualifying was meh. They gave me a conditional pass. They loved my proposals and said they were well-written, creative, and interesting, but I lack a general knowledge of biochemistry and I need to know things "cold," so in order to receive a pass on my qualifying exam, I have to take an undergraduate biochemistry course next semester, write a 10-15 page paper on the structure and function of the ribosome (due end of March) and have another oral exam at the end of May, after grades come out (I must get a B in the undergrad course).
To some extent this really, really makes me angry. I have a BS in Biochemistry and Molecular Biology, and there's no reason I shouldn't have been able to answer their questions, had I known that those topics would be covered. Ten minutes of review would have freshened all that stuff in my mind, and I would have been fine. I just wasn't prepared emotionally, and after the first two questions I was too thrown off to recover. *sigh*
On the other hand, this means I can't TA spring semester (THANK GOD). It also means I get to take another class (even if it's one I've taken before), and I love classes. I'm good at classes. This will be ridiculously easy for me, but who knows, I might learn something new. And lastly, this gives me a real chance to slow down, take a deep breath, and do some science before I qualify again in May. So what if I was the first person in our class to start qualifying and I'll now be the last to finish? I'm still a good two years younger than most of my classmates. I have soooo much time. The whole idea behind coming to Yale and not going to UCSF was that here I'd have a chance to slow down and be a real person, outside of science, in addition to being a graduate student. I have time, and an excuse, to breathe now. And furthermore, I didn't feel like I was ready to qualify, and I think that if I had passed I would have felt like I'd somehow fallen through the cracks and hoodwinked my committee. So at least now I don't feel like an impostor. The "worst" has happened--they've found me out--but they haven't asked me to leave. So I'm relieved.
Anyway. I will talk no more about this subject. For at least a few weeks. I'm so sick of the "q" word.
Turns out my packages have been being delivered down the street. The previous tenant of our house requested that we put a sign on our mailbox saying she'd moved to such and such a house, and apparently the FedEx people don't bother to read the names on our mailbox versus the name on the sign, and as soon as they see the new address they just march the boxes on down the street. So my books (and a bouquet of calla lilies!!) have been found, and all is right.
Qualifying was meh. They gave me a conditional pass. They loved my proposals and said they were well-written, creative, and interesting, but I lack a general knowledge of biochemistry and I need to know things "cold," so in order to receive a pass on my qualifying exam, I have to take an undergraduate biochemistry course next semester, write a 10-15 page paper on the structure and function of the ribosome (due end of March) and have another oral exam at the end of May, after grades come out (I must get a B in the undergrad course).
To some extent this really, really makes me angry. I have a BS in Biochemistry and Molecular Biology, and there's no reason I shouldn't have been able to answer their questions, had I known that those topics would be covered. Ten minutes of review would have freshened all that stuff in my mind, and I would have been fine. I just wasn't prepared emotionally, and after the first two questions I was too thrown off to recover. *sigh*
On the other hand, this means I can't TA spring semester (THANK GOD). It also means I get to take another class (even if it's one I've taken before), and I love classes. I'm good at classes. This will be ridiculously easy for me, but who knows, I might learn something new. And lastly, this gives me a real chance to slow down, take a deep breath, and do some science before I qualify again in May. So what if I was the first person in our class to start qualifying and I'll now be the last to finish? I'm still a good two years younger than most of my classmates. I have soooo much time. The whole idea behind coming to Yale and not going to UCSF was that here I'd have a chance to slow down and be a real person, outside of science, in addition to being a graduate student. I have time, and an excuse, to breathe now. And furthermore, I didn't feel like I was ready to qualify, and I think that if I had passed I would have felt like I'd somehow fallen through the cracks and hoodwinked my committee. So at least now I don't feel like an impostor. The "worst" has happened--they've found me out--but they haven't asked me to leave. So I'm relieved.
Anyway. I will talk no more about this subject. For at least a few weeks. I'm so sick of the "q" word.
Turns out my packages have been being delivered down the street. The previous tenant of our house requested that we put a sign on our mailbox saying she'd moved to such and such a house, and apparently the FedEx people don't bother to read the names on our mailbox versus the name on the sign, and as soon as they see the new address they just march the boxes on down the street. So my books (and a bouquet of calla lilies!!) have been found, and all is right.
