A discussion, concerning commas

[oceantheorem]

Me: man, I need to make dinner
what should I make
Clark: what do you have?
me: I dunno. pasta. meat.
some veggies.
Clark: Well
me: soy milk
Clark: Rice?
me: eggs
rice
butter
toffee
Clark: Cook up some rice and eggs. That's quick
me: I guess eggs would be easy
I could do like, a scramble
eggs, mozzarella cheese, celery and green onions
Clark: interesting
me: omg I left out the comma
celery,
Clark: what? no you didn't
me: I LOVE THAT COMMA
Clark: You don't have to add a comma in a list for the second to last item...
me: YES YOU DO
I hate people who don't
Clark: Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta and Epsilon
me: nooooo
Clark: YES
I HATE THAT COMMA
me: ::dies::
Clark: No. Comma. Goes. There.
See the and?
me: goddamnit
what if the other list items have ands in them!
peas and carrots, butter and bread, jam and popsicles
jam and popsicles don't go together!
you need a comma there
Clark: lol
me: ::bangs head on desk::
Clark: I'll never use that comma. NEVER.
me: ::weeps openly::
CELERY COMMA AND GREEN ONIONS
Clark: Cooking with commas, by Kara Hamilton