The only way I've ever been able to even begin to get over someone is by recognizing that something about them really, really pisses me off. Then I can take the moral high ground and believe that I'm better off not having anything to do with such a horrible person who has this quality that I find so offensive.
Cases in point:
High-school sweetheart: I decided that she was a wanton flirty bitch who'd end up ruining any man she was with, and decided I was better off without her. Got over her about two years later.
Pre-college sweetheart: I realized that she didn't care about me the way I thought she did, and she never would care about anyone as strongly as anyone would care about her, and so I figured that she'll end up in a series of meaningless relationships where the "bottom" of them isn't deep at all, and therefore I'm better off without her. Got over her three years later.
College sweetheart: This one I'm still working on. I'm trying to convince myself that she'll end up unhappily married with children, just like her mother, because she chases the wrong sort of guy just like her mother did, but it's not quite working because if she does end up happy with the guy who came after me, I'll be pretty distraught. Have not, to date, gotten over her.
I should also point out that I've reconciled with the first two around the times when I finally got over both of them, and was their friend for a while after that until we eventually grew apart naturally. I have a feeling that this most recent one is going to take some doing. I need to get away from the internet so that I can't keep tabs on her.
In any case. Getting over people sucks, especially when they meant the world to you.
That said, we should get a cup of coffee sometime, see how we're both doing. Co-miserating is in order, even if I'm mostly a stranger. Frankly I think you're clever enough to figure out who I am even if I don't leave a name. IM me sometime?
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Date: 2004-07-28 01:40 am (UTC)From: (Anonymous)Cases in point:
High-school sweetheart: I decided that she was a wanton flirty bitch who'd end up ruining any man she was with, and decided I was better off without her. Got over her about two years later.
Pre-college sweetheart: I realized that she didn't care about me the way I thought she did, and she never would care about anyone as strongly as anyone would care about her, and so I figured that she'll end up in a series of meaningless relationships where the "bottom" of them isn't deep at all, and therefore I'm better off without her. Got over her three years later.
College sweetheart: This one I'm still working on. I'm trying to convince myself that she'll end up unhappily married with children, just like her mother, because she chases the wrong sort of guy just like her mother did, but it's not quite working because if she does end up happy with the guy who came after me, I'll be pretty distraught. Have not, to date, gotten over her.
I should also point out that I've reconciled with the first two around the times when I finally got over both of them, and was their friend for a while after that until we eventually grew apart naturally. I have a feeling that this most recent one is going to take some doing. I need to get away from the internet so that I can't keep tabs on her.
In any case. Getting over people sucks, especially when they meant the world to you.
That said, we should get a cup of coffee sometime, see how we're both doing. Co-miserating is in order, even if I'm mostly a stranger. Frankly I think you're clever enough to figure out who I am even if I don't leave a name. IM me sometime?