oceantheorem (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
oceantheorem) wrote2010-12-24 02:43 pm
oceantheorem) wrote2010-12-24 02:43 pm
(no subject)
I strongly dislike Christmas.
I like cookies, I like lights, I like heartwarming stories. But there's so much that I don't like...
First off, I can barely afford to buy fun things for myself, so buying fun things for other people is a financially unwise decision. So there's stress about whether I should give in to societal and cultural pressures to buy gifts I know I can't afford, or try to get out of the whole gift giving thing altogether, and disappoint friends and family.
Second, I hate giving gifts. Have you ever read The 5 Love Languages? The idea is that people express love and affection for each other in different ways. If you rank the different ways, gift-giving is my absolute bottom language. It just isn't how I express affection. I'd much rather hug you or spend some quality time with you. The idea of giving you a gift makes me anxious and nervous. What if I give you something you don't like? What if we exchange gifts and the one you gave me was more expensive? What if the one I gave YOU was more expensive?
I would just handknit gifts for everyone, but a) my knitting time is limited, b) I'm a pretty slow knitter as it is, and c) it's really hard to knit things for non-knitters.
This means I spend a lot of December feeling extraordinarily guilty. I avoid giving gifts because doing so makes me anxious. But I know a lot of really amazing, generous people, for whom gift giving is not such a source of stress, and they give me wonderful and thoughtful things. And I love those things, and those gestures, and yet they fill me with guilt. Why can't I be more like those people? Why can't I be more giving? Why can't I take pride in giving nice gifts? Do people think I'm ungrateful? Do they think I'm cheap? How can I repay you for your kindness and friendship in a way that won't make you feel like you've spent money on me and gotten nothing of value in return?
And seriously, what's with all the emphasis on gifts anyway? Is that really what this holiday is supposed to be about? Let's ignore for a moment the fact that I don't believe in God or think Jesus was his son. If that IS what this holiday is about, why is there such pressure to give presents to everyone you know? Wouldn't it better serve the spirit of the Christian holiday to be nice to people, and spend quality time together? Or give gifts to underprivileged children or volunteer?
Finally, this whole holiday is kind of an amalgam of other holidays. If you go back far enough, the midwinter celebration is really about the fact that the nights start to get shorter and the days start to get longer. There is a festival to celebrate the rebirth of the sun, and to feast on the remainder of the food from the harvest that isn't going to last the winter if you don't eat it right now. It's to give people hope that winter will end and it will be warm again in a few months.
So, really, in my head the ideal way to celebrate this whole season is to make a lot of food, spend a lot of time with friends and relatives, and if you really feel you must give gifts, give them to people who are less fortunate than you are.
To sum up, if you didn't get something from me, or have never gotten something from me, it's not because I don't like you or didn't remember you or am too cheap. It's because I'm super poor, picking out gifts for you makes me physically anxious and tense, and I'd really just much rather spend an afternoon having coffee with you and catching up on each other's lives.
That said, if you're reading this, chances are I have something on the needles for you. No promises it will ever get finished...
Anyway, happy holiday. Be merry and be nice to each other and eat something yummy and celebrate the rebirth of the sun. Son. Whatever you like.
I like cookies, I like lights, I like heartwarming stories. But there's so much that I don't like...
First off, I can barely afford to buy fun things for myself, so buying fun things for other people is a financially unwise decision. So there's stress about whether I should give in to societal and cultural pressures to buy gifts I know I can't afford, or try to get out of the whole gift giving thing altogether, and disappoint friends and family.
Second, I hate giving gifts. Have you ever read The 5 Love Languages? The idea is that people express love and affection for each other in different ways. If you rank the different ways, gift-giving is my absolute bottom language. It just isn't how I express affection. I'd much rather hug you or spend some quality time with you. The idea of giving you a gift makes me anxious and nervous. What if I give you something you don't like? What if we exchange gifts and the one you gave me was more expensive? What if the one I gave YOU was more expensive?
I would just handknit gifts for everyone, but a) my knitting time is limited, b) I'm a pretty slow knitter as it is, and c) it's really hard to knit things for non-knitters.
This means I spend a lot of December feeling extraordinarily guilty. I avoid giving gifts because doing so makes me anxious. But I know a lot of really amazing, generous people, for whom gift giving is not such a source of stress, and they give me wonderful and thoughtful things. And I love those things, and those gestures, and yet they fill me with guilt. Why can't I be more like those people? Why can't I be more giving? Why can't I take pride in giving nice gifts? Do people think I'm ungrateful? Do they think I'm cheap? How can I repay you for your kindness and friendship in a way that won't make you feel like you've spent money on me and gotten nothing of value in return?
And seriously, what's with all the emphasis on gifts anyway? Is that really what this holiday is supposed to be about? Let's ignore for a moment the fact that I don't believe in God or think Jesus was his son. If that IS what this holiday is about, why is there such pressure to give presents to everyone you know? Wouldn't it better serve the spirit of the Christian holiday to be nice to people, and spend quality time together? Or give gifts to underprivileged children or volunteer?
Finally, this whole holiday is kind of an amalgam of other holidays. If you go back far enough, the midwinter celebration is really about the fact that the nights start to get shorter and the days start to get longer. There is a festival to celebrate the rebirth of the sun, and to feast on the remainder of the food from the harvest that isn't going to last the winter if you don't eat it right now. It's to give people hope that winter will end and it will be warm again in a few months.
So, really, in my head the ideal way to celebrate this whole season is to make a lot of food, spend a lot of time with friends and relatives, and if you really feel you must give gifts, give them to people who are less fortunate than you are.
To sum up, if you didn't get something from me, or have never gotten something from me, it's not because I don't like you or didn't remember you or am too cheap. It's because I'm super poor, picking out gifts for you makes me physically anxious and tense, and I'd really just much rather spend an afternoon having coffee with you and catching up on each other's lives.
That said, if you're reading this, chances are I have something on the needles for you. No promises it will ever get finished...
Anyway, happy holiday. Be merry and be nice to each other and eat something yummy and celebrate the rebirth of the sun. Son. Whatever you like.