oceantheorem (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
oceantheorem) wrote2004-07-23 12:12 pm
oceantheorem) wrote2004-07-23 12:12 pm
(no subject)
Things are going well....
I've decided to major in Biochemistry and Molecular Biology. That's right, I'm now officially just another chem major (advising for BMB is through the chem department, which makes me... a chem student). But I guess being just another chem major is better than being just another bio major. Which is why I made the switch in the first place.
If all goes well, I'll graduate before I turn 21.
*grin*
...
I got my midterm back in Genetics last night. I did pretty well. The class average was a 60, and I got a 93. I think I deserve two more points; I drew an RNA primer and they subtracted two points for me not drawing an RNA primer. How is an RNA primer not an RNA primer? Gah.
Marina said she'd put in a good word with Gareth for me. Now, I know that's far from, say, Gareth asking me out... But we have five weeks of OChem 108B and M ahead of us, so maybe if Marina gets him thinking about me, he'll get the idea. Or something. Girl logic comes into play here and somehow these things make more sense in my head than on... screen.
The Mormon guy I've been hanging out with, Aragon, told me yesterday I should keep a journal. I laughed inwardly.
Then again, when was the last time I wrote on paper?
And then I thought, maybe he'll ask me out.
And then I asked him for a copy of the Book of Mormon.
And I taught him how to make Markovnikov alcohols from alkenes, which yes-indeed-y was on the final this morning, so he thanked me afterwards.
And then I came home.
That was a strange paragraph.
...
I'd really like to go to the beach to take advantage of this ENTIRE WEEKEND that I have off from school, but alas, Santa Cruz weather is being ironic again. It's cloudy and overcast and I think it might even be drizzling a little bit. I could make a cheesecake. I think I'm just going to take a nap instead.
...
It makes me feel really good about myself to keep getting all these good test scores. I'm blowing everyone else away. I'm consistently scoring better than everyone I know. And I'm taking an insane course load. I feel GREAT. ...And at the same time... I've been having these dreams about Jamie, and every time I think about him, I either get very lonely or very angry. I think I still have some closure issues there. The problem is, I can't do anything about it, because the LAST thing I'm going to do is call him or email him, and I haven't seen him online in weeks. My greatest fear is that he's here in Santa Cruz and I'm going to run into him one day on campus, right before a test or something, and it's going to freak me out and I'll fail. Or that he's here and I won't see him at all, and he won't try to contact me because he never really cared in the first place, and is now happy that he doesn't have to think about me. Grah. Stupid girl thoughts. It doesn't matter either way. But it would be nice if he would get online so I could chat with him for a few minutes, maybe determine that he's not dating anyone either, and then feel better about myself. I think, ultimately, I'll have to wait until school starts again to deal with these closure issues, because I think what I really need is to have a real conversation with him. Not too deep, just ten or fifteen minutes of some basic questions, like, "how long did it take you to get over me," "did you, at all, at any point in the last few months, miss me or want me back," and, "do you think we're both over this enough that we can be friends again? because I really miss having you as a best friend."
I really wish Gareth would ask me out.
93.
I've decided to major in Biochemistry and Molecular Biology. That's right, I'm now officially just another chem major (advising for BMB is through the chem department, which makes me... a chem student). But I guess being just another chem major is better than being just another bio major. Which is why I made the switch in the first place.
If all goes well, I'll graduate before I turn 21.
*grin*
...
I got my midterm back in Genetics last night. I did pretty well. The class average was a 60, and I got a 93. I think I deserve two more points; I drew an RNA primer and they subtracted two points for me not drawing an RNA primer. How is an RNA primer not an RNA primer? Gah.
Marina said she'd put in a good word with Gareth for me. Now, I know that's far from, say, Gareth asking me out... But we have five weeks of OChem 108B and M ahead of us, so maybe if Marina gets him thinking about me, he'll get the idea. Or something. Girl logic comes into play here and somehow these things make more sense in my head than on... screen.
The Mormon guy I've been hanging out with, Aragon, told me yesterday I should keep a journal. I laughed inwardly.
Then again, when was the last time I wrote on paper?
And then I thought, maybe he'll ask me out.
And then I asked him for a copy of the Book of Mormon.
And I taught him how to make Markovnikov alcohols from alkenes, which yes-indeed-y was on the final this morning, so he thanked me afterwards.
And then I came home.
That was a strange paragraph.
...
I'd really like to go to the beach to take advantage of this ENTIRE WEEKEND that I have off from school, but alas, Santa Cruz weather is being ironic again. It's cloudy and overcast and I think it might even be drizzling a little bit. I could make a cheesecake. I think I'm just going to take a nap instead.
...
It makes me feel really good about myself to keep getting all these good test scores. I'm blowing everyone else away. I'm consistently scoring better than everyone I know. And I'm taking an insane course load. I feel GREAT. ...And at the same time... I've been having these dreams about Jamie, and every time I think about him, I either get very lonely or very angry. I think I still have some closure issues there. The problem is, I can't do anything about it, because the LAST thing I'm going to do is call him or email him, and I haven't seen him online in weeks. My greatest fear is that he's here in Santa Cruz and I'm going to run into him one day on campus, right before a test or something, and it's going to freak me out and I'll fail. Or that he's here and I won't see him at all, and he won't try to contact me because he never really cared in the first place, and is now happy that he doesn't have to think about me. Grah. Stupid girl thoughts. It doesn't matter either way. But it would be nice if he would get online so I could chat with him for a few minutes, maybe determine that he's not dating anyone either, and then feel better about myself. I think, ultimately, I'll have to wait until school starts again to deal with these closure issues, because I think what I really need is to have a real conversation with him. Not too deep, just ten or fifteen minutes of some basic questions, like, "how long did it take you to get over me," "did you, at all, at any point in the last few months, miss me or want me back," and, "do you think we're both over this enough that we can be friends again? because I really miss having you as a best friend."
I really wish Gareth would ask me out.
93.